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It's been a week.

Oh Hell, when isn't it a week. But it has been... A. Week.

Small example - I just got off the phone with a woman who is angry that I turned her down to Trick her daughter's wedding. Which is happening in 3 weeks. I was apologetic, but I declined. I should have just left well enough alone but she was angry that I turned her down.

So when I asked her why she waited until 3 weeks before such an important event to book a caterer she got pissy with me and told me that she did not need a lecture, and asked, "What is the big deal? What, like you are booked?"

Yeah, that's it, win me over with your charm.

We are, in fact, booked. And we have, in fact, been booked for 8 months. Because that is what people do for weddings. They plan ahead. Unless it is incredibly short notice for reasons too numerous to count. But even then people don't get pissy. They understand. And for those people I would find a way to help them out.

But this one was insistent on being angry with me. "Just so you know, you weren't even first on my list! You are the 4th on my list. So don't think you are special!!"

"So I assume the first 3 turned you down then?"

*click*

Yeah. Burn on me.

At any rate, I've spent the better part of my evening trying to organize my pantry, which at this stage of the game is nothing but a glaring reminder of what a loser I am. Beyond the staples of things like oils and grains and vinegars and pastas and chutneys and a ridiculous amount of fancy mustards, my pantry is loaded with special things for the holidays. Things to have on hand in case of an impromptu cocktail party, or in case old friends stop by. I figure between what I have in my pantry and my freezer I could whip up something fabulous. Something I just 'happened to have on hand'. "Why yes, I do always have fresh lemon curd ready to go." And at the end of the night I will plop down on the couch in my pretty apron, cocktail in hand, and congratulate myself on being such a fabulous hostess.

What an idiot.

I do this every November aroung Thanksgiving - I shop like the next 6 weeks will be filled with fabulous moments in my home. And every January I am reminded how ridiculous I am to think that I am actually going to be home giving fabulous parties during the holidays. Oh, I am giving parties all right. But they are hardly impromptu, and they usually involve me carving on some sort of well-roasted carcas. And they always end with me schlepping myself home exhausted and finding remnants of some sort of sauce in my hair.

It's a good thing I have a large array of cheese in my fridge to go with all this whine... apricot laced stilton, anyone?

So tomorrow night will not be the average Thursday Night in the Food Whore's House. The Husband will be eating every single item I can prepare with all this - stuff. I hope he's hungry.

And I hope I have enough vodka.

Posted by Foodwhore at January 14, 2009 07:42 PM